I've started, restarted, typed and retyped, I've mulled and pondered all the various things I could or should say to accurately summarize the year that pasted and I'm left finding it hard to find words. Not because its hard to say, or because I want something perfect, but because I don't know what to say.
I could yammer on and on about the hardships thrown our way this year, or the adjustments we have to make daily to our special needs children -- but our struggles are probably very similar to many of yours. Money. Happiness. Contentment. Purpose. Balance. Patience. The situations of life vary little, and every year those things are a pursuit and a battle, what changes is the circumstance and our reactions to them. We've lost the battle, but have adapted for the next.
I feel no closer to peace about how to handle Abigail; her anxiety and S.I.D., every day she needs help and work and it's becoming apparent that her school may no longer be the best place for her to grow and learn. I'm a commitment kind of guy -- I say what I mean, I follow through and I'm honest to the last drop. I don't give up just because things get difficult. I don't believe the grass is greener on the other side. I believe nothing gets better by running away. The grass is greener on your side, if you work at it, persevere. Now that attitude is met with reason and wisdom and the need to adapt and change.
What's not easy is knowing. The pros, the cons. Which is better, which is best? Which is wise, which is useful? I have no answers and that makes me feel helpless and useless. I have faith, but I have doubt. Did I miss something this last year? Was God telling me something and my pride in my commitment to "stick it through" blind me to change, to messages, to obvious signs?
If 2006 was a year of resilience and perseverance, 2007 will be the year of listening with patience and wisdom. We can't do it alone, for which we thank all of you for your thoughts and prayers, your listening ears and watchful eyes, your compassion and wisdom; without you, our community and family and friends, life would selfish and unfulfilled. Thank you for taking these journeys with us.