The One Where We Tell You How This Whole Debt Crap Is Going And How It All Happened (And It's REALLY Long And I Apologize)
by Paul (4 Comments) 
Its been well over a month since Sonya and I looked up from the hole we had dug ourselves, found some help and started to claw our way out toward greener pastures (basically, the debt we accumulated had to be dealt with, and we knew we couldn't do it alone any longer, so our church amazingly provided us with professional financial counselors to help us through this -- free of charge).
The first issue we had to address was -- me.
I'm not a business man. I'm not organized. I'm not able to run this little machine called Wiseacre Design all on my own. All of that created a situation where I simply wasn't making enough money (that realization made me feel like crap). I was spending far too much time on things that brought us no income or far too much time distracted from things that kept me from doing what I do best. I always knew this, but knew I couldn't afford to hire someone (and risk losing MORE money) and I certainly wasn't going to presume that someone would just show up show could do it.
Well, that's all changed. I "hired" Sonya to be my Business Manager -- where she handles phone calls, emails, billing/invoicing and the finances for the business. She's done an amazing job, and in this short time I've become more efficient, less distracted and more energized with my time. I can say in all honesty that I actually feel more like a business man than I ever have in my life
The second issue we had to address was the debt (created in part by issue one).
This is where things are even more difficult. We have/had in the neighborhood of $20,000 - $25,000 of debt. And this WITHOUT any car payments or school loans -- its all just us 1) not making enough money 2) making poor decisions.
I don't feel that we're alone in this -- and I foresee in the coming years that many people will find themselves accumulating loads of debt as prices increase all on goods universally (without anyone getting pay increases). If you don't adjust your spending budgets, you will certainly go into debt.
In the hierarchy of things that HAD to be paid for the numerous credit cards that we had; many of them for my business were falling by the wayside as we had nothing left to pay them. We paid our mortgage, or home equity credit, our health insurance (which was I had lowered to $400 for non-existent coverage, which was previously $925 a month for our family) our utilities bills and food and necessity items; couple that with that fact that I might make $5000 in a month, or $150 (there was no way of predicting my income, and we had slowly depleted our savings just trying to keep up).
Then I got duped.
In the pressures of work and making money and paying all these bills; I tried my best to pay the minimum fees on the bills (which as well all know just increases each month with the 25-32% interest fees even with the minimum payments). My American Express card went to collections and I freaked out. They told me that I had to pay off the $7k balance right away, which I could not --- they called and pestered every day, several times a week; I told them I could pay them a little bit, to which I said "like $350 a month" and they told me that was not good enough. They bullied me into $800 a month, which we honestly couldn't afford. I thought they could sue us, take our cars or possessions or house. Everything quickly went down hill from there, because that payment made it impossible for me to pay for the other cards minimums or even afford health insurance.
We were drowning.
Just around this time our church did a series on money. Sonya had the courage to tell our church to pray for us as we had no idea what to do, or how to do it. Then a very next day we got help. A professional financial adviser (who went to our church) donated his time to us. They assessed our situation and came up with a game plan.
Now there's hope.
The plan?
Call it a clean slate (and also a way to get out of all the "auto pay" things I set up to try and relieve myself from stress and forgetting to pay things, which happened often, because I was trying to do too much).
Yes, stopped -- even collections. Since they can't take anything (we still pay mortgage and home equity, as those are tied to an asset; our home), the only threat might be legal, but that's highly unlikely.
In an effort to save AS MUCH money as possible (to pay off this debt) we had to do things that many people not be willing to do; not because its wrong, but because of pride. We canceled services we didn't need. We stopped shopping at big brand stores, we applied for federal aid (but couldn't get it, though do have MediCade), we started going to food banks and free stores, we looked into clinics for health issues, we shopped second hand stores for clothing or shoes, we started shopping only for food that on sale (and made our weekly menu according to what we got on sale; not vice versa), we sold things we didn't use or want; we stopped the "small spending" (its so easy to buy "little" things, like get a burger at McDonald's, get our kids a little gift or toy, etc)
Its not hard to talk about doing something, but it hard to start and then even harder to sustain. Its been about 2 months and we've not given up; knowing that this is merely a phase, a cleansing, to get us into healthier practices and then become more wise with our money
And its worked. We're ready to negotiate with a few of our credit card companies -- to tell them we have money RIGHT now to pay off such and such amount, if they're willing to drop the fees and charges (our financial adviser will be the one doing the negotiating, which is very nice, as I seem to cave to pressure).
To anyone who might feel the same was as us -- don't be afraid. But you have to change; you can't just keep doing what you're doing and expect it to go away. Be aggressive, sacrifice things. Brand names aren't important -- getting the newest clothes or most "stylish" haircuts or shoes don't matter, doing that is just you having too much fear to not fit in (I know, I was there). Stop writing a menu and buying foods to fit -- get what's cheap and make a menu based on that; you'll be amazed at how much you save. Learn to say no -- so what if you can't go to a movie with your friends, or out to eat; it doesn't mean you ALWAYS will, but if you don't start, then you'll never be able to manage that spending or that frivolous spending. Its possible to make it stop, its possible to change it, its possible to enjoy life more without wrapping materialism into it.
All of this to say THANK YOU to all of your for your prayers and thoughts -- we're not out of the hole yet, but it certainly feels like its possible to get out (where before I felt like we'd just die there). Keep praying for us, its hard; but worthwhile.
COMMENTS:
i love how transparent you've been about this process.
joshua
May 09, 2008
I'm so glad you guys were able to get help and start to overcome this. We'll be sending our prayers!
ZNB
May 09, 2008
Thanks guys. Its taken me a long time, but I'm starting to feel (relatively) good about things. For a long time I was just in a depression and angry -- really at myself, for being so stupid as to do all the things that I should have known better, or had too much pride to let go.
I will always "live out loud" as it were ... because our communities are just confined to our literal neighbors ...
Paul
May 09, 2008
Interesting - you did almost exactly what I did, and I had almost exactly the same amount of debt ($26,000). The big difference was, I was already living on a nothing budget because I just had me and Merry to feed. So there really wasn't anything to cut. Having my car stolen actually proved to be a blessing because it got me out of that $270/month payment. I still miss that car, but I don't know how we would have gotten through that penniless period of time with that payment.
Let me tell you - it's great when you get through it. It's like being able to eat after not eating for a day. Being able to buy a pair of shoes is a beautiful experience. Going out to eat is a royal time.
And let me tell you something else - I love Wal-Mart and I'm not ashamed of it. Another thing that's great for tight times and an inconsistent income is, believe it or not, a membership with a Wholesale club like BJ's or Costco. You buy food when you have the cash and freeze it and it lasts. You buy quantities of soap, TP, paper towels and trash bags, and you don't have to put out for them again for a long time. If we hadn't gotten our BJ's membership, we would have gone through really uncomfortable stretches of time doing without basic things.
As always, you're in my prayers.
Mike
May 13, 2008