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The Armstrong Family Circus

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Lessons learned on a vacation that lasted too long but not long enough

Thursday June 25th 2009

by Paul Armstrong
 

It's not a job to do today

Every year it seems we learn (and subsequently forget) some important lessons about ourselves, our family or life in general. I thought it might be a good idea to get these lessons in a more permanent format (than in my brain, which is sadly unable to retain much these days).

 

The best and only way to present these lessons is through the manidatory list format; I apologize in the smallest way possible, because I honestly love lists (it appeals to my task-oriented disposition).

  • Doing a Garage Sale several days before your vacation is ill-advised.
  • Rain can be difficult to drive through, when it whips sideways.
  • The longer the vacation, the longer the limbo afterward.
  • Vacation for a small business owner is really just working randomly in inconvenient places with worse equipment.
  • Using simple math, it seems to me that western South Carolina has on average a road closing accident every 24 minutes (having seen 5 road closing accidents, in a 2 mile radius, in less than 2 days).
  • The Blankenships are good people, who also like beef.
  • Our family is overwhelming, and I apologize — though the warning is in the label "Circus".
  • No bed is ever as comfortable as your one at home
  • I like the idea of the beach more than the experience (the sand up your all-togethers, the sticky film of salt air adhering to your skin, the stifling thick heat)
  • Dropping your iPhone in the sand can't be good.
  • It is possible to drop an entire hamburger into (yes, into) a grill. Oops.
  • Babies and semi-nice restaurants make the surrounding patrons, what's the word ... jerkfaces.
  • I'm inescapibly a suburban father. I shall never approach "cool" again.
  • I don't care what you say, I love Cracker Barrel (see above).
  • It's easy to get great photos on the beach; frankly its no challenge at all, it's also completely unfair.
  • Driving with a baby is virtually like travelling back in time. By the time you're done the driving it's as if the vacation has never happened at all.
  • The AT&T iPhone charger is easily the most worthless piece of equipment I've ever purchased (I literally have to hold the charger as hard as possible into the phone for it to charge at all).
  • I went fishing for the first time (surf fishing), and it was pretty great. Thanks Luke.
  • Somehow your house will be dirty, even though no one has been there, when you get back
  • Parting isn't sweet sorrow, there is very little sweet about having to say goodbye.
 

 

 

Comments for "Lessons learned on a vacation that lasted too long but not long enough"

Good list, Good thoughts. We're about to head out on a 6 week cross country trek to visit family and friends.

I have nearly thrown that very same charger out the window of my moving vehicle at least twice in the past 2 weeks.

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