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What the heart might want, doesn't make it right

Wednesday January 20th 2010

by Paul Armstrong
 

Anger

 

If you ever ever ever hear the phrase "The heart wants what the hearts wants", I need you to punch that person squarely in the face and fart in their mouth. There is no greater lie and selfish excuse than to envoke the wantss of one's heart (which merely means fleeting, euphoric "emotions") over what really matters — what the heart truly needs.

 

I don't have an answer for what the heart needs. I only know that the heart (and to be perfectly clear, one using their "heart" is merely another way of saying one's emotions and feelings) is an easily misguided and confused beacon of guidance. Yet we are all guided by our heart and our emotions. It's the easiest gauge of where we are, who we are, what we want. But without a bit of our brains, our logic, we're imbalanced; and will inevitabily make imbalanced decisions (the same applies to anyone who only uses logic and reason to make decisions). So what does the heart need? I honestly don't know; but I do know its not giving into "feelings" at the cost of family, commitment, and others.

 

The heart wants a thousand different things at any moment, in any situation. Without commitment, without reaosn, without some guidance, your heart is a wild animal; and it can lead to the quick deicsion that can defeat an entire family, a group friends. Which is where I lie right now. Defeated because of a wild heart. A decision. A lapse. A strain. A break.

 

See, my parents are divorcing, after 42 years of marriage, because "the heart wants what the heart wants". Life is always easier to handle when you watch it happen to someone else and hardly as tolerable when you're faced with it yourself (and you always always always think it wouldn't, it couldn't be your parents; until that day when it is and guess what, it's not funny, it's not easy). And I'm not ok with it.

 

I'm not ok with this decision. I'm not ok with the potential of having a step brother and sister that are my kids age. I'm not ok with a stepmother that is my age. I'm not ok with you exercising your demons, with fulfiling your wish to be a different father for someone else's kids — what about me, where were you for me when I was a kid? I was your kid. Where's my chance to get a redo on my childhood? I'm not ok with your heart and where it's led you.

 

Never let only your heart guide you.

 

 

 

Comments for "What the heart might want, doesn't make it right"

I continue to find your writing, its transparency and the nakedness at which you journey through this struggle and many others something amazing. If only all of us would deal so openly with adversity...the idea of community may be able to truly cultivate and support. We continue to pray for you, your family, your parents and the thousands of others sharing the same heartache as you but behind walls of stalwart emotions and other smoke and mirrors.

I am glad that your heart and head led you to write this. You needed to speak the truth.

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