As is usual in our life, we\’re at another money crisis point. It seems every 3 months or so clients either refuse to pay or pay incredibly slowly, and typically the higher the invoice, the longer they take to pay. We’re down to about $262.
I would like to say I’m calm, but I’m not. I’m stressed. I doubt my own merits. My own talents. My career. So I’m on my knees praying daily. Last week four new proposals passed my way. Then yesterday I get a call from Relevant asking if I would be able to fly to Orlando for a full day of meetings on their new redesigned site. Suddenly I’m overwhelmed with work — yet still not paid up and still surviving on $262. Being busy but seeing no fruits of the labor is disheartening and demoralizing. If God is teaching me a lesson on depending on Him and Him alone — well, I get it … every time we do this (really God, I do).
In other news …
This will be my last week playing at CHPC. It’s very bittersweet. We had a meeting last night, and the word I kept hearing was “change”, fall, 2005, reluctance, where does this fit?, blah blah. It was the same meeting we had (same people) 2 months ago. I sense they want change, but are so paralyzed by fear of change that we move slower than a polar ice cap. I need to worship with my family. If they get their act together and do this — I’ll be there to help them. Until then, I’m refusing to lumber around and waste my time and service.
Know your onion!