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Where’s the joy?

Posted on March 3, 2005November 24, 2019 by Sonya Armstrong

It’s March and the icy cold is penetrating my bones. Where\’s the subtle warmth and the green? It’s okay, the weather reflects my state of mind now anyway and I can’t escape it, either through prayer, reading the Bible or running away inside. If I have Christ in my heart, then where did my joy go? Why do I feel so dry inside and so angry?

I want something but I don’t know what it is. For two nights in a row I have dreamed of moving or reaching a place from my past and it irks me a bit. I feel like I’m balancing between isolation and community, and given my state of mind, for the sake of all those I love, I’m going to have to opt for isolation until I figure out how to get off this ride I’m on. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear for a few days without affecting anyone.

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