It’s March and the icy cold is penetrating my bones. Where\’s the subtle warmth and the green? It’s okay, the weather reflects my state of mind now anyway and I can’t escape it, either through prayer, reading the Bible or running away inside. If I have Christ in my heart, then where did my joy go? Why do I feel so dry inside and so angry?
I want something but I don’t know what it is. For two nights in a row I have dreamed of moving or reaching a place from my past and it irks me a bit. I feel like I’m balancing between isolation and community, and given my state of mind, for the sake of all those I love, I’m going to have to opt for isolation until I figure out how to get off this ride I’m on. Sometimes I wish I could just disappear for a few days without affecting anyone.