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Of course a man made it. It’s a commercial Lois, not a delicious thanksgiving dinner

Posted on June 13, 2005December 2, 2019 by Paul Armstrong

South Carolina is the state of “Smiling Faces, Beautiful Places”, but apparently the tourism board has never been to Florence SC (where the McDonald’s incident occurred). Neither smiling, nor beautiful. With crazed men, sitting on buckets in parking lots cursing out families exiting McDonald’s (although, said bucket-man was nice enough point out to me that I had doodie on my head – he also had the uncanny foreknowledge of some Oedipus complex and fornicating I must have yet to discover). There were many shirtless men, riding bikes – across busy roads. Abandoned gas stations and street corner huts that may or may not have been burnt down. Florence – I am not a fan. Please learn how to smile – and try to be beautiful, if you can — try, maybe plant some flowers and wear shirts, and brush your teeth, and spit your chew somewhere not at someone’s feet, and learn what a cross-walk is.

But we are here at the beach – safe and sound. I’m pink and toasty and tender (even with SPF45 on). The kids are surly (at times). The weather is nice. The temperatures perfect. The wine is flowing and the food is overflowing (from my belly). More to come …

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