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Dear Adelphia Cable Guy

Posted on July 10, 2005December 2, 2019 by Paul Armstrong

I hate your face. I have been using high speed internet (at home) for over 5 years. I’ve used Time Warner, Zoomtown, Current and now your lovely services (this is sarcasm, just in case you were unsure). In the 2 weeks of using your (lack of) service, I have not had a full day where I have not had to restart my modem and wireless port to maintain a connection. NERD RANTI am more often greeted with a 169 IP address than the usual and happy 68 NERD RANT COMPLETE. I would love to love you, but I can’t. I’m filled with longing for my last internet provider who was not only reliable, impeccable, quick and sure but also cheaper (please, I beg or you Current come to Hamilton Township!).

I purchased (maybe purchase isn’t the right word – rent, borrow?) your “Premium” internet service in the hope that I would have a quick, effortless and always on connection. I am learning that “Premium” only refers to the cost passed on to me, your monkey pawn. Even your Promise contains no actual promise. But I have a promise, and I intend to keep it — get your act together, or lick the sweat of a slugs back!

Adelphia I am forced to make a decision of either swearing off the internet and becoming a horrid farmer (and I’m sure 80% of farmers in rural Iowa have a better internet connection than I have) or switching to the dreaded Zoomtown. Please get your act together, its not hard to provide quick and reliable service.

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