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It’s 9:40pm, and why am I working?

Posted on July 11, 2005December 2, 2019 by Paul Armstrong

Because I have immense security issues.

I fear for the next day when someone will call me up and decide to “use” (and I use that term literally and figuratively) another vendor who is cheaper, quicker, a cousin, a brother, a relative, a monkey (you fill in the blank). For all the work I have, I still do not have the confidence or faith to think (trust) that I will be able to make it through the month. Around the corner awaits homelessness, penniless and begging for work.

I cannot relax; especially with a new home, new responsibilities. The fear of failure entangles me.

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